listen. it's harder than you think.

to listen is really an art i think. you have those people who will indeed ask you a question, but in the end they're not truly interested in what you really have to say. and by that i mean able to come out of their views and concepts to try and learn where you're really coming from and what you're actually trying to say. this would mean they would need to spend some time learning your experiences and trying to 'step into your shoes' as best as possible. which also would require someone who was capable of bringing you into their life in such a manner. but really it takes a lot of work to be a good listener. one who can indeed step out of themselves, pay and care enough to try and understand where you're coming from and then actively participate with their mind to what you're sharing. these people i believe are truly hard to come by.

i think i'm starting to realize the need for this kind of listener the closer i get to going back to america. i haven't really seen anything too hard living in Ghana, but going back to people who don't want to see outside of the world they live in i think will be draining and probably where most of the reverse culture shock will come in. i learned a great application to some scripture the other day. one of the people who came to ghana last week shared a passage out of 2 corinthians. basically when we can die to ourselves we give life to others. if we want to live for ourselves then we give death to others to experience a brief moment of life and in the end our brief moment of life, is death to ourselves in our hearts. i'm thinking of this in the realm of listening. if one asks you 'how was xyz?' and they don't really pay attention, the most basic response is probably hurt feelings. i'll say basic for me. i try and listen to others, so i really think it's proper to try and listen to me! but not everybody is interested. so then the hurt feelings come in. now i have a choice. either get mad someone doesn't want to spend their time listening about places and people they've never met, or i can forgive knowing full well i've probably been less than an active listener a couple times in my life. i should probably then take note that i want to change and try and be a good listener for those who need some ripe ears.

i truly want to be a good listener. the more God grows a passion in my heart for documentaries the more He grows this desire to listen to others.

but o how my patience wanes trying to listen to God. selfishly i want someone who wants to listen to me and herein lies an easy idol to create. looking for someone other than Jesus to listen to me. i know in my head he wants to hear from me. every detail i can stand to share. but yet, i crave that of a human who wants to listen. currently i live with one of the best listeners i've ever seen. i will miss that. she truly has a gift. it will be interesting to see how this plays out in america. and i feel as if i'm toying on the err of selfishness wanting someone who will listen to me. i know we are hardwired for others we are created for community, but there must be a balance. i'm eager to see how to balance the desire to talk with someone who cares and being filled by my Father who always listens.

the balance of life.