what-june is gone?

Is it really eight days until I am physically hugging my mother and father’s neck at Memphis international airport gate while jumping up and down in a frenzy of emotional bliss? Not to mention my sweet friends who are driving up to memph town…however I think that’s just strictly for them to have fun in the car…on the way up singing into drum stick!

I new June was going to go by fast. After Joel, Jackie and Jackson left on June 11 I had six days in Accra and then Amy Rambo, Ryan Kennedy, Davis Webb, Chip Jackson and our driver Stephen headed back up north to return June 26!

So now I’m in the process of making a five minute dvd to play at The Orchard when I’m home in Mississippi, while packing and buying some good ole African artifacts for family and friends…I’ve only got seven days! YIKES

Saturday Amy, Ryan and I are going to lead youth group and then Sunday we’re going to prampram orphanage to teach and hang out with kids…so this weekend is busy!!!!

Our trip was WONDERFUL. Only one minor bump…I lost my cell phone with every number for people in Ghana. Stink. But- we got to receive blessings and hopefully be blessings by going around to love on our coworkers! Check out the Jernigan’s blog, Ry’s blog and www.daviswebb.blogspot.com.

Ryan and Davis had brought several goodies for each family…and I have to say Ryan’s mom did an OUTSTANDING job picking out princess dresses for two of the little girls on our team Rachel and Louisa.

Now I’m going to get a little serious with what God’s doing up in my disgustingly selfish heart! Read on if you want to analyze my thoughts and really see how messed up my brain is! You’ve been warned.

Each morning someone led devotion. One thing I love about the ‘trip bubble’ during the ‘trip length of time’ is the amount of intentional Word time when traveling with others who LOVE the Lord.

God has impressed a couple things on my heart that I’ve been chewing on this week. One-being how we are to love others especially fellow Christians. I keep going back to 1 Corinthians 13:4. I know we hear about this verse during weddings a lot, but I totally am trying to figure out the balance of speaking truth in love to our fellow believers and how much we pray and forgive without bringing differences up. Is there an easy answer here??? Please give me a how to do it and I will follow.

Second- Davis read 1 Peter 4:11. “If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God.” This is where I meditated for a couple of days and Saturday I’m leading a discussion at our local international youth group.

When we do what we do - do we do it for God or for ourselves? The scripture was written by Peter to Jewish Christians persecuted and ridiculed for believing in Jesus. He tells them speak as if you were speaking the words of God…speak to those who make fun of you with love…to those who persecute you. Serve with the strength of the Lord so that they may know God through Jesus. So many times I think about me how I’m feeling about doing ministry, but my gosh if I could just get outside of myself and my feelings there is a world who doesn’t know the love, joy, peace that comes from knowing Jesus.

Why do I do what I do?
Oh how my heart yearns for ME to be ‘great’ at something. I have this unquenchable desire for when people think Margaret they think ________ insert being the best at ‘something.’ Lately, I have felt so beaten up (my mind conjuring up insults against myself) by the fact that I’m not creative enough, or not smart enough or wise biblically enough or … I mean the list could seriously go on and on. Besides the fact that thinking I’m not good at anything is completely being self focused… I have been reflecting on the words I speak when I get so consumed in me. Are these words as if one speaking the very words of God? And if I’m doing “it” for God should I get so sidetracked in what others think?

Agh the growing pains of this journey with our Lord. I know we are refined by trials so I’m trying to walk through and stay committed to what the Lord has shown me he’s called me to, even when I don’t ‘feel’ like I am enough. Is He trying to teach me that it’s ALL about him? I thought I had that one learned...

One week from today I’ll be fellowshipping with family and friends at my mother’s house in Starkville. It's going to be lots of fun...I'm starting to get excited to see everyone....more posting later :)
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