i have started about five blogs since last week and published none. i have millions of thoughts going through my head yet i can't seem to sit down long enough to thoroughly work them out onto paper or blogger that is. the sims left this past tuesday for america so it's been gifty and me except now she's in kumasi until monday. so even with being quite i still can't seem to find time to get these out :)

on thursday the 11th i talked to my friends joel and robbyn about a short term team coming in june. my home church wants to start a partnership in ghana so i'm helping assist in some avenues to start forming a relationship that will sustain even after i'm gone. it was such a great conversation. i love knowing the hearts of people who have a similar passion and vision for ministry.

i have started to realize most of my culture shock right now is dealing with the fact that the way i see ministry, creative and outside of the box, causes a sort of anxiousness inside me when i'm working with community bible club. coming from the states i've realized i expect ciricculum to meet a standard so we are charting a path for these children to be working towards. i realize and have been trained to realize the way american ministry and ghanaian ministry is done isn't going to be the same, and i know the heart of a learner and try to exhibit it. but i think we've set a less than high expectation in america for children's ministry by 'gaming' them to death instead of using games to reinforce an overall truth that needs to be communicated and taught. i see that here too and that's where i start to get frustrated. i think that when there's downtime it should be constructive and is a great way to teach the children something either by drama, game, story or a lesson. is that american? i just don't like wasting time. i know that's an american culturalism and i'm starting to unpack those feelings of culture shock. for me it's not food, smells or people urinating constantly and anywhere. it's not the live chickens, goats and cows that you meet in the road constantly. it's not driving a standard in traffic that takes an hour anywhere you want to go. it's not buying things in the market or wearing ghanaian clothes. none of these really send me into culture shock. it's the realization that the leaders here don't neccesarily need my thoughts and opinions right now. so my prayer is continuing to be 'stay in'. no one said this will be an easy road to travel down. i don't know the language fluently so i've got a lot to be working on in that arena if i'm going to want my thoughts to be heard. not that the leaders aren't great friendly people. don't hear me wrong. but i've got to gain Jesus's strength to want to continue to learn how to minister to people here because at this point i just want to do it my way.

we went to the retreat thursday thru satruday (last week) and then sunday morning 7am i flew to kumasi. this was such a blessing. i am doing a documentary for Joe Otsin. he's an evangelist in Methodist Church Ghana and also works with Cecil Williamson ministries (yes cecil from starkville, ms if you know him!...small wolrd) so i'm doing this video to help communicate his vision/passion and how God's been working through him. i stayed with his family one night and another ghanaian family the next night. i went with him to a training he leads and during that time i startd to see ghanaian men interacting in a way that was familiar to friends in the states. the training has three leaders and one of them is from accra, where i live, about six hours away. Emmanuel and Joe are friends and it was neat to see them working together in ministry yet the live hours away. it's just like home when you get to work with someone that you haven't seen in so long, but your hearts are beating with the same passion. it was so encouarging to see them working as a team. i just have to say that time was sweet and a blessing.

one more side note. the women's retreat in the mountains...first off the place was such a gift from God. it was georgous and none of us could believe where we were staying. the house faced south with a pool overlooking the landscape for miles however with harmatan we could only see about 100 yards in front of us, but we all got the picture of how majestic it could have been if the sky was clear. so that just set the tone for the weekend. for me it was full of introspective thoughts and God bringing to light many things. one part about Daddy i love is He never stops redeeming his children. he never stops coming after us to make us more pure. He and i are dealing with issues that i've never dealt with and really never knew i needed to deal with until He made them known. it's great. i've realized what great friends i have in tupelo too. (there's a point to that seemingly random interjecting among a women's retreat in ghana...) God strategically put me there after florida so i could learn and be thankful for the people he put in my life. i have met some great people here too, but there are girls in tupelo that in their presence i'm plain and simple.... comfortable. i've realized what a great comfort it is to be known by people and not have to show people and teach them who you are. that happens when you move somewhere new. you start over and you get to know people. i've done that my whole life since my dad is a preacher and i was relocated with cellular south three times. moving isn't something that scares me for the most part i enjoy it. but i am realizing i think part of why God brought those tupelo girls in my life was to show me how authentic He wants me to be with HIm because in the exhuastiveness of making new friends He is our one true personality and struggles Understander. i've got great friends here, but we're just scratching the surface of who each other really is. i'm learning how to really be in His presence constantly. it's harder to do when you're doing 'good.'

i do have to give a kudos to tonya and deirdra. they're the two ladies who led the retreat. tonya speaker/drumming artista! and deirdra on vocals and acoustic!!! they were great and encouraging. it's neat to see how God uses all of our gifts to lift each other up and that's totally what they did while they were here!

there's some of my million thoughts. not totally unpacked but there's the gist! love to all